What if I can't orgasm?

If you can’t orgasm, please don’t think that sex magic is out of reach for you. Orgasmic energy, while the most obviously recognizable sexual energy, is not the ONLY kind of sexual energy that can be harnessed for magic!

If you can’t orgasm, you don’t need to change much at all to still achieve great results with sex magic. Follow the masturbation manifestation instructions all the way through but instead of ending at an orgasm, end at a place that is comfortable for you. You might think of this as a kind of meditation and prescribe 5-10 minutes of pleasure or you might simply choose to go until it just feels like the right place to stop. It’s your choice! Experiment a bit and see what works for you. Remember, this form of magic is all about your pleasure so do what makes you feel good!

I didn’t get the feeling of my energy rushing to my intent. Did it work?

Every now and then spells fall flat but having a spell fail feels very different from just not feeling the spell. In all likelihood your spell worked just fine, you’ll probably feel something strange or unpleasant if for some reason the energy didn’t move in the way you were expecting. The only way to know for certain is to wait and see what kind of results you get from your spell. If you don’t get the results you wanted, maybe try tweaking your intention and trying again.

Can I use toys?

Absolutely! Toys can make a great addition to sex magic and can add a lot of interest to your sex magic. Feel free to experiment with toys and incorporate them into your magic as you like. There is some benefit to going without toys but I typically suggest that route for more intermediate students of sex magic.

Can I do this during sex with my partner?

You can but this is where things start to get a bit more complicated. During sex, your energy meshes with your partners to create a shared sexual experience and while this is a wonderful thing it means there’s no good way to separate out your energy from their energy in order to perform a spell. What this means is that you’ll be harnessing your own energy as well as your partners to cast the spell and in order to do that ethically, you must ask their permission. If your partner is down to let you play with sex magic while the two of you get busy then have at it.

Will fantasizing ruin my spell?

Nope! Fantasizing won’t ruin your spell unless you’re somehow fantasizing about the exact opposite of your intent. Since I can’t think of a single reason why you might be doing something like that, I’m just going to give this one a blanket “No”.

What about watching something erotic?

This is one kind of erotic helper that I will warn you against. While porn can be fun when you’re just messing around without any real purpose, it can actually do quite a bit of damage to your spells. When you’re focusing on something outside of yourself and your current experience like that, it disconnects you from your body. Your mind is wrapped up in what’s happening on screen and your body is doing whatever it’s doing and the lack of synchronicity between these can often cause sex magic to weaken or even flop completely.

I will say that this isn’t the case for everyone. I’ve met people who could use erotic movies during sex magic with no problem and if you can, more power to you. In my experience though, more often than not it tends to ruin spells and frustrate beginners.